Nov 07

Self esteem

Lesson – Self Esteem / Self Respect

Self respect seems to be one of those incredibly important things everyone needs and yet many people seem to struggle with it (including myself occasionally). The following is a list I came up which should allow a person to attain adequate self esteem and self respect.
1) Accomplishments and achievements
2) Have a variety of skills
3) Continue to learn things and become knowledgeable about different subjects
4) Have and demonstrate positive traits, characteristics and qualities e.g. Intelligence, Empathy, Creativity, Bravery, Courage, Humour, Altruism, Civility, Talent, Perseverance, Honesty, Trustworthy, Curiosity, Confidence.
5) Making the “right decision” despite it’s difficulties
6) Remain true to yourself and believe in yourself
7) Don’t ruminate or keep it at a minimum
8) Instead reminisce over good memories
9) Don’t take things personally even if they seem that way
10) Interact with positive and supportive people
11) Avoid negative or unsupportive people
12) Resolve past trauma’s and try to learn or take something from it
13) Look at past shameful, embarrassing or regrettable memories and laugh about it or realise that life is full of mistakes and that nobody is perfect
13) Set realistic simple goals regularly and work to achieve them
14) Use ‘non violent communication’ to translate moral judgments, insults, uses of shame and guilt into an understanding of unmet needs.
15) Pick one attribute, skill, area of knowledge and become an expert or master at it
16) Help others, be polite and decent and be happy for it
17) Learn to be assertive, which is a healthy balance between passive and aggressive
18) Realise most people cannot fundamentally disrespect you, they can only make the suggestion, but ultimately you choose whether to accept or reject the treatment
19) Adversities of life may be challenging and frustrating, but realise you can learn from these situations and even improve because of it
20) Don’t compare yourself to other people and if you do replace jealousy with admiration towards the other person or motivation to improve yourself
21) Typically speaking, those who disrespect you will likely have self respect problems themselves
22) Remember the positive feedback you’ve had previously and continue along that path

Key points to remember:
– Most states of being, behaviours and mentalities are self perpetuating.
– Anyone can improve their level of self esteem, but you must take action towards improving yourself and your life.
– The greatest determiner of your overall level of self esteem and self respect is: you.

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